Enveloping darkness

This is the time of year when I start to feel like I never get to see much of the daylight because when I leave for work it's dark and when I walk out of City Hall at the end of the day, it's getting dark. And by the time I've been fed and we are ready for a doggy walk, it's dark. Really dark.

Last night BF came over around 7 PM for a walk. It was funny because it was the first time that Honey leaped to the floor off the couch and ran to the door when the doorbell rang. Normally she doesn't respond to the doorbell until I give her a cue. And of course, she gives BF the full happy dog treatment. At one point he was crouched down with her in front of him, paws on his knees and giving him kisses while I was draped over the back of him, encouraging her to give him wet willies. It was too funny. We do love him.

We went for a walk in the darkness. And it is so dark up where we live, few streetlights and not many houses. We went up to the back field and it isn't far off the road that you can't see anything at your feet. And when we got to the top of the hill, we looked back at the twinkling lights and stars, a billion stars, bright and crispy cold. I think stars prefer the winter because they can really twinkle more effectively in the cold air.

We then walked down to the River. And it was once again an exercise in trust. Trust that the road would be just where you expected it to be, trust that you wouldn't stumble in the darkness. Because it is really dark along the trail at night. I suppose some people might be freaked out but somehow it's okay when I've got my boyfriend and my dog with me. I felt safe with the darkness all around me, the crisp air and the crunching of what is that classic crunchy winter frozen ground and leaves underfoot. The smell of woodsmoke drifts in and out of the walk, a gentle reminder that there will be warmth when you get home.

I have a wonderful new coat supplied by work. My very own Carhartt coat. I don't know why but I've wanted one for a while now. It's such a "construction man" sort of coat. But it's toasty warm and fits like a dream. And I am so proud to be a part of this team that is my career.

As we walked in the cold of a November night, I felt my legs and bum getting chilled. It is another classic winter thing isn't it? That sensation on your legs as you walk - it feels cold and it kind of hurts and it tingles. I don't know what else it is like, except what it is.

We spoke of many things as we walked. Of fitting our schedules together as the weekends fill with Christmas parties and planning. Of the challenges I face as a single parent fitting my schedule with my ex's and keeping the Boy's life happy. Hockey games. Work and life. Parents. Christmas.

We met another dog as we walked. Honey doesn't like him for some reason. She wouldn't even come over when I was patting him. She snarled and growled at him. He's a nice dog too. He must swear at her through the window when she is outside - he is a neighbour. Dogs can be so funny.

We arrived back home and cuddled on the couch. We drank green tea and ate stolen Halloween candy. We giggled over silly bits on the TV. Then we found time for one more bit of enveloping darkness together in a much warmer place. And after he had gone and Honey and I were drifting off in the final darkness of another day, I was thankful to God for all the gifts I've been given.

And I surrendered to the last bit of enveloping darkness of my day.